13 April 2010

The voicemail from the nurse said to call the doctor.
I knew it was in regard to the biopsy I just experienced.
I was sitting alone in the bedroom using the cellphone when the doctor explained the result with a professional and friendly tone.
Of the twelve biopsy samples taken, four tested positive for cancer in my prostate.
The doctor also explained the level of cancer was not aggressive.
As he continued to provide the necessary details, I was no longer listening to him; but, only hearing his voice.
My mind was frozen at the four of twelve tested positive for cancer.
With my free hand, I rubbed my forehead and became quite aware of the tingly weakness in both of my biceps spreading to my shoulders and hands.
It was a struggle to focus my effort to listen to the doctor.
Next he asked for me to meet him as soon as possible to discuss my treatment options to fight the cancer.
I responded that I could see him the next day in the afternoon.
He accepted my availability and I thanked him.
I hung up then sat still for another few moments.
Both cliched questions and fragmented thoughts gathered in my mind.
A heavy shell of numbess settled on me.
I stood up with slow deliberation and could still feel the tingly weakness in my arms.
Each step was labored and my breathing was slow and deep.
I walked the length of the hallway to the kitchen and living room.

What do I say to my wife and parents?
How do I tell them?